Embracing Uncertainty: Lessons from a Non-Linear Journey

(edited Nov. 11,2023)

I can still taste those tough months. Projects vanished, red flags from my clients, finding design gigs felt like searching for a needle in a haystack, and self-doubt became a constant companion. Have you ever felt like you're falling behind your peers? Yeah, I've been there too.

In those challenging moments, I learned some of my most valuable lessons. Uncertainty has a unique way of teaching us resilience and pushing us to find unexpected paths. It's where we discover our true grit and learn how to adapt. Embracing it has been a game-changer.

"Uncertainty has a unique way of teaching us resilience and pushing us to find unexpected paths."

Looking back, my journey has been anything but a straight line. These days, I spend more time creating and selling illustrations, and together with my wife, we run a small retail store. The illustration venture not only ensures our bills are covered but has also led to a much-improved quality of life compared to a few years back. This setup grants me the freedom to explore other passions, like this blog.

This blog is a little corner I've carved out to share my stories, experiences, and insights. I'm hoping you'll find something in them that strikes a chord with you. But let me tell you, it hasn't always been smooth sailing.

About My Diverse Endeavors

During my exploration of various graphic design fields, finding the right path remained elusive. I embrace being a generalist. From logo design to layout services, photo editing to social media posts, packaging design, and even learning HTML and CSS, I explored them all. I even created a somewhat SaaS (software as a service) that turn Facebook Page to a fully functional website. I also spent so much time browsing freelance marketplaces like Design Crowd, Freelancer, Upwork, and Fiverr just to name a few. What surprised me most was how this vector illustration, something I hadn't initially prioritized, turned out to be the very path that led to a decent profit. It's a testament to the unpredictability of this journey.

A Shift in Perspective on Illustration

I remember getting interested in selling illustrations online around 2017. Back then, I was still working a regular job. Intrigued by the prospect, I registered on several platforms. However, as I delved deeper into it, a sense of disillusionment settled in. The process involved creating illustrations, submitting them to platforms, and hoping that somebody will like it and make a purchase. What struck me, somewhat negatively, was the minimal earnings for each sale and the absence of any guarantee of income. I questioned the value of investing my time in creating illustrations with such uncertain returns.

My skepticism about illustration deepened during a freelance opportunity with friends, where illustrating in various styles was a requirement. It paid well, but I quickly realized that I wasn't passionate about it, and the work felt uninteresting. This experience led me to refrain from pursuing illustration further, as it didn't align with my freelancing journey and personal interests at that time.

Surprisingly, I ended up selling illustrations not because it was my passion or a deliberate choice, but out of necessity. When times got tough, and I struggled to find clients or projects while facing financial difficulties, I had to explore new options. During this challenging period, I found myself considering paths that I hadn't initially imagined. Illustration, something I didn't particularly love doing, became a practical option to navigate through the tough times.

"I ended up selling illustrations not because it was my passion or a deliberate choice, but out of necessity."

 

Weathering the Storm: Balancing Passion, Profit, and Resilience

The real challenge lies in finding that delicate balance between earning a living and having the time to pursue what truly ignites my passion.

This experience reminds me of a concept discussed by Blair Enns in his book 'The Win Without Pitching Manifesto.' Enns highlights a picture we're all too familiar with—the shift that happens when what we love turns into what we do for a living. That initial burst of passion can sometimes fade under the weight of financial expectations and the need to carve out our space in the professional world.

"That initial burst of passion can sometimes fade under the weight of financial expectations and the need to carve out our space in the professional world."

Moreover, I'm no stranger to the quizzical expressions and raised eyebrows when I mention freelancing as my chosen path. It's a familiar scene: someone asks about my profession, and when I say 'freelance,' I often hear, 'Why not just get a regular job instead of staying home and doing nothing? Well, "doing nothing" is far from reality. They don't see it as a serious job and sometimes perceiving it as akin to idleness.

Now, let's circle back to the illustration selling venture. While navigating this sea of freelance work, uncertainty was my constant companion. I embarked on this online illustration venture, alongside other services, only to find myself without a single cent of profit for a year. For months, I diligently worked on those illustrations, even though it felt like I was moving in circles. It became a routine. As time passed, other projects took over, and I lost track of them, fading into the background.

Silent Struggles: Navigating Financial Hardships in Silence

Then, rock bottom hit. A mysterious phase of five months without projects, without earnings, just a void that stretched for five long months. Because of this, I watched as the savings in my account started to vanish. With each passing day, I anticipated that it would soon dry up entirely. My passion, belief, and dedication to graphic design began to fade. With only a few dollars left and the support of my girlfriend (now my wife) and family, I made a daunting decision: I started offering photo copying of documents using my phone camera and a desktop printer and selling a single item (dishwashing liquid) from the retail store my parents had closed a year ago.

This transition was incredibly stressful for me. I went from offering design services to handling photocopy and retailing. It was a moment of reckoning, a test of whether my chosen career was indeed a failure and just idleness—a fear of potential judgment from those who might not understand. Yet, somehow, my designer instinct persisted. I keep on dabbling with different services. The desire to keep pushing forward remains. 

As time passed, my savings continued to dwindle, even with my last resort efforts in printing and retail. It felt like a race against time, heightened by the effect of the COVID-19 pandemic, adding an extra layer of uncertainty. The financial strain wasn't just about the numbers; it took a toll on my emotional well-being. The constant fear of running out of resources, coupled with the pressure to find a solution, created a silent struggle that I kept to myself.

"Seeking help was an option, but my introverted nature and reluctance to burden others kept me silent."

While seeking help was an option, my introverted nature and the reluctance to burden others kept me silent. It's a familiar scenario for many freelancers who often navigate challenges independently. Instead, I turned to prayer, finding solace in moments of reflection and seeking strength in the face of adversity.

Unexpected Resurgence: A Reap from the Past

While navigating through these challenges, a surprising email arrived, detailing a substantial amount of money. And guess what? It was unexpected earnings from those once-forgotten illustrations. Remarkably, it came at a time when I had been grappling with financial uncertainty for about a couple of weeks, feeling the weight of having no money and no apparent alternative plans or opportunities. I found myself on the brink and losing hope. In the midst of this struggle, a verse from Matthew, a constant reminder from our church, surfaced in my mind: 'Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

“. . . be content with what you have because God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

This moment became a pivotal turning point. Faced with the stark reality of my financial situation and having no funds left, I turned to prayer, finding solace in the teachings that had been a constant in my life.

The impact of the unexpected earnings wasn't solely financial; it brought about a profound emotional and spiritual shift. Experiencing relief and joy with this unexpected turn served as a powerful reminder that even the smallest efforts, guided by faith, can yield significant outcomes. These unforeseen earnings not only reinforced my belief in the unpredictability of the freelancing journey but also provided vital support for our retail store, creating newfound stability.

These events allowed me to devote more time to what truly fueled my passion and served as a testament to the resilience and persistence that define a freelancer's journey. Sometimes, prayers are answered in the most unexpected ways, reaffirming that every challenge met with determination and faith can lead to unforeseen opportunities.

Conclusion: Embracing Change in the Journey

Looking back at my freelancing rollercoaster, one thing stands out: change is the only constant. From tough times to financial struggles, each challenge molded me into who I am today. Embracing uncertainty wasn't just a survival tactic; it transformed me. The journey from graphic design to illustration and running a store might seem all over the place, but every twist taught me to be adaptable—a crucial skill in freelancing.

The game-changer? Unexpected earnings from forgotten illustrations. It wasn't just about money; it was a spiritual and emotional boost. Faith and determination became my anchors during uncertain times.

This blog isn't just stories; it's a nod to the unpredictable beauty of freelancing. It's a reminder that, even in smooth times, unexpected turns await.

So here's to embracing change, staying strong in uncertainty, and recognizing that every twist adds depth to our story. As I share these tales, I hope they resonate with freelancers and creatives. After all, it's the unexpected that leads to the most profound discoveries. Cheers to the journey, guided by faith and fueled by determination.